Plain and simple, all of the research and planning leads you up to this moment – You’re looking in the eyes of the women you have dreamed about. Now What?
Here are the most common challenges:
- It’s a foreign environment
- You’re overwhelmed by Beauty
- You don’t know what to say
- You don’t have a Goal in Mind
- There are too Many to Chose From
- How to Exit and Move On to the Next One
Watch this and you’ll be prepared!
Please add comments below . . .
. . .
I have spent the last 3 years out on the dating field; burned through the Facebook, Myspace friends, associates, and coworkers list fast. Ended up on Match – zip; E harmony – zip; Seattle Singles – zip, Plenty of fish – well there isnt really.
doing a booelean delimited search by simply paramaters of my wants, and measured against the pop culture womens notions of ‘shoulds/shouldnts’ there were exactly 3 hits in 250 miles in America for me- of those they all had age, height, distance delimiters that would exclude me as an option. it can quickly feel like you are searching for a diamond in a penny gumball machine.
And when you do meet one from the sight that you or she ‘settled’ for – there is NO conversation.
If it hadn’t been for the local Ukrainian population in my neck of the woods, I would be going starkraving mad. ( many of them are already happily married – the younger ones are Americanized in that they think I am too old for them – but they are very supportive of me to go to Ukraine and have even introduced me to several of their friends via skype and Myspace) I know I need to be on ground, I know my life will not restart until then, it is why I have decided to relocate there, and to live there as an Expat. I will most likely go on the spring tour to Kiev, as that is where I will end up living because of work. I will be on board- this is the year that changes everything – this is my last year of wandering pointless in a field.
Brian, my philosophical friend, you make some good points. You set this up for me like ‘tee-ball’. I can’t help but step up and hit this one.
Can I be brutally honest? There is a VERY common idea, no – and ideology, that surrounds this notion of finding a “soul-mate”. The presumption is that there is only one soul in 6 billion that is the match to your soul and you have to keep looking until you find her. I mention this in my book as a “Chick idea” and it is. Can you imagine the statistical chances of your happiness if you have to find your ‘one-in-six-billion’?
What you are looking for is much easier to find, and your odds of success are greater when you do it the way we teach. Get a clear picture of what you want – and how the relationship feels on a daily basis. Figure out where you are going to find a girl that has that look and those values. Then find one you just love spending time with and confirm that she feels the same way. Is she matching your efforts in pursuing you as you are of her? Then you begin to discuss what your lives might look like together.
In the country of Ukraine alone there may be 200,000+ ladies who could create the life you imagine. The value system is there. They are attractive. The population is nearly 40 million. They want what you bring to the table as much as you want what they bring to the table.
It really comes down to which ones you happen to connect with at the right time and place. When you are spending time with one who matches your description and your efforts PURSUE HER!
On the notion of ‘too many to choose from’
One day, Plato asked his teacher, “What is love? How can I find it?”
His teacher answered, “There is a vast wheat field in front. Walk forward without turning back, and pick only one stalk. If you find the most magnificent stalk, then you have found love.”
Plato walked forward, and before long, he returned with empty hands, having picked nothing. His teacher asked, “Why did you not pick any stalk?”
Plato answered, “Because I could only pick once, and yet I could not turn back. I did find a very magnificent stalk, but did not know if there were any better ones ahead, so I did not pick it. As I walked further, the stalks that I saw were not as good as the earlier one, so I did not pick any in the end. “
His teacher then said, “And that is love.”
Every one that I have met over the years has indeed been exceptional – and in my course of letter writing for old clients I made many new friends – but I never attempted to search for my ‘one’. It is a dauntless task – at some point you realize – I am not perfect, why am I seeking the ‘perfect one’ I know I need self improvement- I want the girl that supports me to be honorable, strong, of integrity, and is worth the intent of a journey together. I do not see that as settling.
The American dating scene seems so focused on absolutes – that indeed you often return from the field empty handed – either at her decision – or your realization.
Mika:
I love your description as “a complete lack of uptightness”. I think that says it all!
Yes, we’ll be announcing the full year’s schedule shortly. Basically, we have one the first week of February so it will be followed every 60 days. I hope that helps.
More to come. Thanks again for the comments!
Mark
Mark,
Your dead on about these foreign women being much easier to talk to. It really is apples and oranges when you compare them to American girls. I went out with a number of foreign girls over the last several years from Colombia, Congo, Turkey and Ukraine. The thing I remember the most about the conversations with them was the complete lack of uptightness. It never felt like I was being interviewed. The last American girl I went out with used the acronym D.I.N.K on the first date(Dual Income No Kids), which kind of turned me off. She was nice, but totally lacked feminine charm. I dressed up nice and wore cologne to the date, she showed up in jeans with holes at the knees. I paid for dinner anyway, but whatever.
BTW, what’s your tour schedule look like for next year? I wish I could have gone on this one, but I’ve got to get some things in order first. You guys doing a tour next summer? I hope the guys on this tour don’t steal all my girls. Just kidding…have a feast guys lol.