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Overcoming Negative Presumptions

UserPost

2:45 pm
September 3, 2012


Jerry87

Member

posts 12

Just what the title says.

My parents and sisters support me but how did my fellow tribesmen tell their friends and handle the negative responses as well as negative media?

4:45 pm
September 3, 2012


Maurice

Atlanta, Georgia

Member

posts 45

Post edited 5:58 pm – September 3, 2012 by Maurice


When I first became excited about it over two years ago, I told friends and family my intentions of going over seas to find a wife. Then I would debate with them over it, reciting the information from EDC (here) and Winston Wu's site, then they would come at me with all of the stuff they get from Jerry Springer, Dr. Phil, the media, and the rest. But ever since February 2012, I've grown tired of the debates and there has been no dialogue over it since January – Good, I can go on as planned.

Due to a special project I am undertaking right now, any negative thoughts or talk affect how well I am doing, so any further discussions will be on-hold until I take a little vacation to see Eastern Europe later this year (Sponsored by a company called Dream Connections), where I will be sending back nice photos and video of the wonderful women I am running into over in Ukraine; posting them on my Family Facebook page ( Facebook.com/Rod Young), where almost all of the people I grew-up with are connected with me; at least 60% of them are there.  If you have a serious business, it is best to have two Facebook page entries, even though it is against their rules; Family can talk about stuff you don't want clients, colleagues, and associates to know) at least that is how I feel.

They will accept her, trust me I know my family. They are easily persuaded by media and hype, but when someone brings a nice girl around, they instinctively can tell. Especially the elders who will let everyone else know that, "Wow, she's such a very nice girl, and she's so polite and mannerly," unquote.

 

Maurice R. Young

True mastery is when your: heart, mind, and soul work in tandem.

1:37 am
September 4, 2012


GodNnelg

Member

posts 19

I honestly just try to not talk about it at all with friends..

I know it sounds rather harsh but some things are just best for your friends to not know about. It's not like something I plan to undertake within the next few months in my case – it'll be at least a year before I can plan to set aside money for it. So I just don't bring it up in conversation.

With that said, I have on occasion talked about what I plan to do with a select few close friends… I personally am not the best debater or speaker about the topic I was just recently accosted about it in fact. 

One lady asked "What? Do we all just suck?" .. I just retorted that at this point I've had enough bad experiences to make me rethink about dating lately. At a dinner with friends at Red Lobster the topic came up.. all my friends cracked jokes that I'd get a box with the woman inside sitting right outside my door.

Since I'm not the best speaker about it – and since so many of my close friends think it's silly then really.. I am just going to keep mum about it all.

Maurice really has a great point here: the best evidence that can prove this works to your friends is to one day introduce them to your future wife. I believe it's best AFTER you've brought her to America and married her. At some point you're going to anyway right? 

10:01 am
September 4, 2012


chrishaste

Trafalgar, IN

Member

posts 6

Maurice, GodNnelg, with all respect and brotherly love, I have to disagree with both of you on this one.  The question asked at the beginning of this topic was how to overcome  the negativity.  What you guys are responding with are examples of being defeated by it.  I know it isn't easy fighting ignorance, but it's quite possibly the most important fight there is.  If friends or family are citing Jerry Springer as sources, then brother, you already have them on the ropes.  Turn it right back around on them. "You're getting your information from Jerry Springer?  Do you really think that's the most reliable source?"  I can't imagine anybody coming back from that complete loss of credibility, especially if you're in a group setting.  I know I'd feel too stupid to say another word.  I'd be willing to bet they'll be looking for more information online within 24 hours.  If you got through to them, they'll be looking for education, and if not, they'll be looking for ammo to use against you.  Either one is a victory, because if they come back with more craziness, you shoot it down with facts, and they'll be back online again, looking for education or ammo.  Repeat as necessary.  Only education can banish ignorance.

 

I have to say right up front, and I've told Mark the same thing, that I've had nothing but support and positive reactions from everybody I've told about my quest, and believe me, I've told a lot of people.  I even turned it into an experiment.  I put my Russian language book on my desk at work, and every time I was asked if I was learning Russian, I said yes, and told them why.  People don't hide what they aren't ashamed of.  If this is your path, and you know you're right, tell people.  If you're hiding it, people will always assume that you don't really believe either, and try to save you from yourself.

 

I know this is a pretty long post, and I apologize for that, and for preaching, but I do want to add just one more thing.  I have one sister, and she is 12 years younger than me.  We are extremely close, and she was the first person I told about my quest.  She didn't question whether my choice was right, but she did ask me why.  I asked her these 2 questions, and she's championed my quest like a tiger ever since:

 

1. How many women do you know? (She works in a beauty salon, so obviously, a lot.)

2. Out of all of those, how many can you think of that you would be happy to see me marry?

(She couldn't think of one.)

 

Again guys, sorry for the long post, but if it can help even one of you, it's worth it.

11:12 pm
September 4, 2012


Wen Shen Chen

Member

posts 23

Jerry87 said:

Just what the title says.

My parents and sisters support me but how did my fellow tribesmen tell their friends and handle the negative responses as well as negative media?

The best advice I can give to you is to believe in yourself. From a famous quote in Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life". Think about it if you are truly believes in what you believe does it matter what other people says? What would happen if you let people influence you? What would you do then? Even if it does matter you are still true to yourself. That is the best remedies for all the negative sources. But unfortunately media is a marketing tool. And can be use for various means for both good and bad to appeal it's targeted audience……beware

12:44 am
September 5, 2012


Maurice

Atlanta, Georgia

Member

posts 45

Post edited 12:49 am – September 5, 2012 by Maurice


Generally, my answer to the question is – don't even fight over it. I make my own decisions and I do not need anyone's approval or opinions for any of the decisions I have: researched, tested, or have sought knowledgeable and/or wise council over. I have always been an independent thinker and do'er, and part of that is to stand-by what I believe in. If anyone does not agree with you, shake the dust from your soles and keep heading for your destiny; life is too short for petty arguments.

Who you spend the rest of your life with is your decision, because you will have to live with that person – not them. Unless you want them to make the choice for you.

 This is a life-changing decision and I have already told them my intentions. It is already on the table - Life goes on, because I will keep going-on.Smile

True mastery is when your: heart, mind, and soul work in tandem.

3:30 am
September 5, 2012


Brian McKenzie

Sequim, Wa

Admin

posts 264

oooy  howdy – this one is pure carnage through my networks.

Mine is a little bit more because I intend to live there – and never come back.   I have lost alot of 'friends' over this one.  The dating field is abysmal – we all know it.  Unfortunately – the economy is just as abysmal.   All of the opportunity and hope I see – for me, is overseas.   So I have lost friends that I have known since highschool that see me as a traitor, I have lost associates that were close enough to know of the decision (whether I told them or they found out) and the exodus of my social media looks like the abandoning of the Titanic.

meh.   I do not live my life for them.  I am in control of my own path, arc, and destinations.  Many will tell you that you "can't" do it simply because they cannot imagine themselves doing it – or succeeding in it.  Listen to YOUR head, heart and gut.  At the end of the day – whose life is it ?

Never lead a life in someone else's shadow – or attempt their expectations; it is a recipe for failure / you will find no matter your efforts or direction – it is never 'enough'.

As you may have guessed I don't care what anyone else thinks,  my apathy to their opposition is only surpassed by my indifference. 

Find the positive in your life, in your quest, embrace it, visualize it, make plans for it, dream toward it – make your heart happy.     To all else – meh.

There was a time that I thought I knew the Answers to the 'American' Dream… now I know it is all overseas.

3:39 pm
January 26, 2013


KevinC

North Manchester,Indiana USA

Member

posts 16

Post edited 3:50 pm – January 26, 2013 by KevinC


All the guys have presented excellent comments in their posts here! In regard to defending against negative or derogatory remarks against you,here is what I always told my son when he was a teenager and wanted to "bust somebody in the mouth" when he learned that someone had said something derogatory about him. "It matters not what others think or say about you(it is unreasonable to believe that every person you meet in life will like you or agree with all of your opinions),the only thing that truly matters in life is WHAT YOU KNOW TO BE THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF".  And it is a given that God will also know this(the truth about yourself).

 

And how do you handle the "negative media"? You get on a plane,fly to Ukraine and experience and discover for yourself that all the propaganda they(the neg. media) are disseminating is 99.999% B#llsh*t!   The experience itself will be one of the greatest memories created in your lifetime and if you come away with an amazing,beautiful,charming woman to share your life with . . . . HOW DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT?  Cool

When given a choice – I always want to be a part of the solution – not a part of the problem!

1:50 am
January 30, 2013


Brian McKenzie

Sequim, Wa

Admin

posts 264

I took my TV out to a field and I pumped it full of 12 gauge buck shot.  I haven't watched in three years.  I found more time for myself, my hobbies, my language, my life really blossomed – it is fully, still not happy, but it is a better place for killing the idiot box.  I never intend to have one again.

There was a time that I thought I knew the Answers to the 'American' Dream… now I know it is all overseas.



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